one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
