I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize