break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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