I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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