Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
two words...techno handjob
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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