I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
