Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
