he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize