Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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