I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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