You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
