Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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