so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
