pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
birth control should be required to get into college
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
