Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
