just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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