I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize