I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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