U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
