nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
