Can i not drive my cunt home
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
