make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
