I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I want is dick and wine.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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