Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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