what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
