yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
