weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
