so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize