Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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