You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
