david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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