OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
