apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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