Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What a dumb baby whore.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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