I am puke
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
