Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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