Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
