hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
