oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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