he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
