I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
