have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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