the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
