bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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