he puts the penis in happiness.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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