He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
