Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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