My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
