Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
