We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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