i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
