it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
