remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
