i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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