I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
