no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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