So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
