Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
