tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You ate ashes out of my bong
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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