you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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