trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
