i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
