I must be too annoying 4 u.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
