looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
