winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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