i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
