found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
