That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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