Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
