Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
