my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
