Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
