Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
