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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  doesn't he have a GF?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  that just means you have to try harder.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...

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• (209): View more from California

  HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me

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• (530): View more from California

  as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.

  (214): View more from Texas

  What brownies? Ohmygod.

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• (949): View more from California

  I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious

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