everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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