Screwed.edu
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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