Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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