Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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