I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
