so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
