Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
