Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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