There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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